They were short on patience the day she was in line to get hers

Dear lady who doesn't even work here,

Please do not bag my groceries for me without my permission. For one thing, you do not work here. You're being weird. Weirder than even I can handle, which is saying a lot.

Secondly, I brought my own bags so I don't wish to use the plastic ones you're loading up with my groceries. I will now have to undo all that you've done.

Thirdly, and not to be petty here, but you're not very good at it. You've just buried the squishy stuff underneath the heavy stuff, and that just won't do.

Lastly, your impatience to get me out of your way so that you can ring up your items is ridiculous, because oh look another self checkout has opened up. Now kindly go the fuck away.

Love,
ME